Open your mind

❝ Desire is complicated and tricky to regulate — I don’t think I could stop being turned on by being treated “badly” any easier than a gay man could suddenly start being attracted to women. I might prefer that my big controversial sex preferences involved whipped cream or whatever instead of wanting to be slapped in the face during intercourse, but that is not the hand I was dealt. […] If you don’t have fantasies like mine, I can understand the impulse to want to erase them from the world. But women like me and all the other straight freaks in this world stubbornly refuse to be erased. Sex is too important, too essential a life process, to spend our lives faking it. ❞

- Hit Me Baby, One More Time: Slapping, Spitting, Name-Calling and Other Sex Preferences I Feel Guilty About | xoJane (via sexisnottheenemy)

via allthechocolatesinthebox / 1 month ago / 298 notes / feminism, words, sex positive, domination,

❝ As an independent sex prostitute (something that offers me a lot of privilege, as does being white, educated, and middle class) I get to decide whom to see, so during my sessions, we tend to explore queer sexuality. My sexuality, mind; most of my clients are straight men, or at least thought they were when we started! […] I expect them to challenge their assumptions of what makes male and female, what is appropriate and what isn’t. We discuss and explore power: who has it, and how, and why. I enjoy demonstrating that penetration is not a male act, or even something only men enjoy. I enjoy discussing sex, and gender and class. I like to help men in positions of power rethink femininity and feminism. My work is intellectually stimulating and challenging, and it uses my brainpower more than any other job I’ve had. ❞

- Kitty Stryker: Some People Enjoy Being Prostitutes… Get Over It (via sexisnottheenemy)

via sexisnottheenemy / 1 month ago / 907 notes / sex work, sex positive, words, feminism,

❝ I believe that sex-positive feminism is about the belief that sex can be beautiful, it can be ugly, it can be difficult to deal with or easy to understand; some kinds of sex are widely misunderstood, and some kinds of sex are widely stereotyped; some people are really into sex, and some people aren’t; but most importantly, all kinds of sex are okay as long as they happen among consenting adults. ❞

- Clarisse Thorn (via msandrogynous)

via allthechocolatesinthebox / 1 month ago / 1,322 notes / feminism, words, sex positive,

❝ Sex tapes are not uncommon, but what is rare is for their female star to be unapologetic on their release. To discuss ideas of shame, intimacy, consent and privacy, instead of agreeing to a sad-faced interview in the Sun, pictured in polo-neck and natural makeup to denote modesty – that’s unusual. There’s no shame in happy sex, Tulisa asserts. The shame should lie with the person who uses it as currency against his partner’s wishes, who uses a record of it as a weapon. She’s not in the wrong for having sex, for enjoying sex, or for being filmed – her (until now anonymous) ex should be ashamed for betraying her, embarrassing her and attempting to damage her career. ❞

- Tulisa is feminism’s new hero | Eva Wiseman | Life and style | The Observer (via wewantrevolutiongirlstylenow)

via beautifuldancewhore / 1 month ago / 258 notes / words, feminism, sex positive,

❝ When I submit, I do it from a place of strength. I decide whether my partner is worthy of such a powerful and intimate gift, and I do not give my submission to anyone who does not both understand and appreciate the depths of what I am giving up for them. I value myself highly, and so I submit to people who realize that doing so does not make me less. I accept I am an intelligent, competent, submissive feminist – who sometimes finds her power by choosing to let it go. ❞

- Feminist Sex Submissive? How I Reconcile My Politics With My Sex Life | Sex & Relationships | AlterNet (via a-blog-called-everything)

via allthechocolatesinthebox / 2 months ago / 1,558 notes / feminism, submission, words, Favorite, sex positive,

janedoe225:

positivitypush:

The History of the Vibrator

I was feeling very exhausted and decided to skip out on the lab portion of my class today, so I’m spending the time with some sexual education instead. I was watching some carlincherrybomb (Betty Dodson and Carlin Ross’ YouTube channel) and came across this lovely video. We’ve come a long way from the Barbershop Scalp Massagers :)

good video, it’s like pretty white though. but you expect that from women’s history.

and that old lady in the beginning was so cute =)

via janedoe225 / 2 months ago / 332 notes / awesome ladies, awesome women, masturbation, video, sex positive,

❝ Sex work is not inherently wrong. Sex work is not inherently dangerous. Sex work was, oftentimes and in many ways, something I enjoyed. That said, sex work was a far from a perfect occupation. Prostitution, in particular, was not the job for me. Sex workers do not deserve to be hurt or suffer because they sell sex. But they do ❞

- an excerpt from this wonderful piece on sex work from Bitch magazine. (via thestepswetook)

via janedoe225 / 2 months ago / 262 notes / sex work, feminism, words, sex positive,

❝ I don’t care how much sex anyone has, how often they do it, or who they do it with. I’m much more interested in the consent, pleasure, and well-being of the participants and the people affected by it. I respect women who are asexual, celibate, monogamous, multi-partnered, or have had more partners than they can recall. I respect women who only have sex after a commitment to monogamy and those who have sex with someone within minutes of meeting them. I respect women who have transactional sex, women who have sex for love, or for any other reason. I know that all of these categories are permeable and that many women move from one to another. And I know that any of these decisions can be made from a place of personal power, choice, and authenticity, as well as from a place of coercion, shame, and disempowerment. ❞

- Charlie Glickman (If You Don’t Respect Sluts, You Don’t Respect Women)

via apricot-nipples / 2 months ago / 8,178 notes / feminism, words, sex positive,

❝ I think it is absolutely the responsibility of an artist to look into darkness without blinking. I think it is important that we talk about morality and character and the way we dehumanize one another. But I also think the point has been more than made on film that rape is a terrible thing, and at this point, if you’re not contributing some new idea to the conversation, then you are literally just using it as a button, something you push to get a response, and that unnerves me.

If I had to pinpoint what bothers me most about the subject, though, it’s that our ratings system in this country is so broken that a film that contains a sustained, brutal rape sequence featuring full-frontal female nudity can breeze right through with an R-rating, but if you include a sequence in which two people engage in spirited, consensual sex and we see anything that resembles reality, you are automatically flirting with an NC-17 or going out unrated. We have created a code of film language in which the single most destructive act of sexual violence is perfect acceptable to depict in the most graphic, clinical detail, but actual love-making has been all but banished from mainstream film. ❞

- Drew McWeeny (The Bigger Picture: What happens when we find The Line as viewers? - HitFix.com)

via sexisnottheenemy / 2 months ago / 501 notes / feminism, rape, rape culture, words, sex positive,

Feminist Sex Submissive? How I Reconcile My Politics With My Sex Life

“I want people to look at me and see me as the competent, capable, intelligent woman that I am … even when I’m on my knees.”

(Source: carlykitty)

via carlykitty / 3 months ago / 3 notes / feminism, text, words, Favorite, sex positive,

❝ Stop degrading the act of sex by calling it “opening your legs.”

I’m so sick of women being degraded all the time. Because women just, you know, lay back and “spread their legs” and let men do whatever they want. They don’t take any active role in the actual sex act or enjoy it. They are just objects that lay there with their legs open. Then they are stupid because through poor judgement or mishap, they became pregnant. The man is never blamed or shamed or degraded for having sex. There are no phrases used to degrade the act of a man participating in a sexual act, at least not a heterosexual one.

I swear if I could punch people in the face for saying “they shouldn’t have spread their legs” I would. I don’t even care if they are someone in my family or my friends. That is how fucking pissed I get when people say hateful shit like that about women.

No issue is black and white. Women have abortions for many reasons. Shit happens. The fetus ends up being deformed and would not live; the woman just ended a previously stable relationship; the woman or couple has children already and cannot afford any more at the moment; The couple may have used birth control but it failed; the woman just found out she has a serious illness and will not be able to carry a pregnancy to term; the woman was raped, etc.

So fuck you and your hatred of women. Negativity about sex is disgusting and harmful. ❞

- flowersarebetterthanbullets on This Post (I made this a quote, because the original picture with text was visually offensive to my eyes. These pro-life people need to take a graphic design class.)

(Source: plasticvines)

via liquidinterpretations / 3 months ago / 6,614 notes / abortion, sex, sex positive,

❝ Um, I’m going to say some dirty words that I don’t like, and talk about dangerous situations, so I’m gonna go ahead and write “Trigger Warning” here.

I worked as a skimpy for a couple of months some time ago – that means that you pour drinks at the bar wearing lingerie or a costume, and after your shift you can pick up extra tips by being topless for a while, and chatting with the customers. In one week of doing that work, I noted that men would: gladly tell me, “I want to see your tits – and I want to see your pussy”; ask me back to their home, and repeat the question for two hours straight if I kept saying no; ask me to flash my breasts at them, and argue with me with all kinds of logic if I said that I don’t do that – in front of their wives; leer at my breasts; and touch me seductively if I walked on the other side of the bar. Also, upon befriending two men in the town, they each at different times tried to rape me – though thankfully(?), they were the sort to give up when you say, “I said ‘no, I don’t want to have sex with you’ and then you pinned me down and forcibly tried to have sex with me – that’s called ‘rape’ and that’s you trying to ‘rape’ me. You will leave now – goodbye.”

It taught me that men make the assumption that if you work at a “sexy” job, then you’re automatically making yourself sexually available to them – for company, viewing, dirty talk, touching, and sexing. I know that they do this with women anyway, however it’s like in non-”sexy” situations they at least have to come up with some “seduction” or “romancing and dating” scheme, or win a “power struggle”, or speak “nice guy” talk, to gain access; but “sexy” workers, in their minds, have waived those minimal boundaries and are primed and open for access.

I’ve complained to many people about those disgusting attitudes, and many responded, “Well, what did you expect?” So, when society isn’t congratulating men for violating women, it’s giving them a nod of acceptance. ❞

-

qvaken - Comment on: A few lite thoughts on rape and prostitution

(via andythenerd)

so sadly true.

via workingsex / 3 months ago / 70 notes / feminism, sex work, words, sex positive,

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