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Open your mind |
| Brazilian girl, feminist, pro-choice, atheist. I like diversity, sex, nudity and happy people enjoying life. Here is a place where I feel safe to truly express myself without fear, so if you are easily offended by any of the previous points, do not come in. Seriously. |
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Notes"[TW: Abuse, whorephobia]
While I was in the process of leaving my abusive ex-partner, I confided in my social worker (after asking at length about her confidentiality policy, which she assured me was full proof) that I had previously worked as a sex worker in a parlor. She agreed to leave this off my notes but informed that had I still been working at that time, she would have informed child protective services. When I asked why, since I was based away from my house and my children were looked after by family while I was at work, she said that “prostitution is usually indicative of other issues.” Later, speaking to a friend of mine at the brothel about this, she told me that her child had been removed from her care because her ex partner told child protective services about her job during a custody dispute. There did not need to be “other issues”; the assumption of other dysfunction and ignorance of the realities of sex work was enough that she lost her child to the state. Another friend of mine from the same parlor was threatened by her soon to be ex-husband with being outed if she obtained legal council during their separation. Rather than take the risk of losing her children and her family, she lost her house, financial stability, all her savings and everything she had worked for up to that point. Her ex-husband took everything." -
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Notes Right, apparently people STILL don’t fucking get it when it comes to porn.slaterwashere: inflateablefilth:
If I choose to make porn (which I am choosing to do, incidentally), or if I choose to be an escort (which I did, once upon a time), I am not ‘selling myself’. I am not for sale. My body, my mind, my personality… these things are not for sale. What is for sale, is the option to look at my body, or interact with it. If I fuck somebody, or somebody takes a naked picture of me, I’m not losing any part of myself. No part of me has been taken in exchange for cash, just an image. If you take a photo in an art gallery, nobody’s going to accuse you of stealing the art work. If you touch a statue, and walk away from it, you’re not taking part of it with you. It’s the same for my body. If you see it, or touch it, no part of me is lost, no part of what makes me who I am is changed.
And then we come to the assumption that I’m ‘degrading’ myself in some manner by banging people for cash. Well, I’m not. I felt more degraded working minimum wage in McDonalds than I ever do when I’m taking naked photos to put online, or when I fuck random people for free (yeah, I’m a big ol’ slut, your point?) or when I’m signing up to do a screen test with a porn company. No branch of sex work or or sex as a hobby seems to be capable of making me feel degraded. And if I don’t feel degraded, then you don’t get to tell me I feel degraded, because you are not in possession of a greater understanding of my emotions than I am.
Your judgments on sex workers are contributing to the lack of safety evident in the mainstream porn industry, they are contributing to a continued ban on prostitution, making the lives of sex workers really fucking unsafe in many circumstances. By judging sex workers, you are contributing to a system that means if a sex worker is raped, nobody cares. If a prostitute is murdered, it takes about 5 more killed before the police bother to investigate. Whether you judge sex workers as bad people or as objects of pity, you’re harming us.
Do not tell me what I am allowed to use my body for and how I am supposed to feel when I go outside of that.
(Source: campdracula5eva, via janedoe225)
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Notes"As an independent sex prostitute (something that offers me a lot of privilege, as does being white, educated, and middle class) I get to decide whom to see, so during my sessions, we tend to explore queer sexuality. My sexuality, mind; most of my clients are straight men, or at least thought they were when we started! […] I expect them to challenge their assumptions of what makes male and female, what is appropriate and what isn’t. We discuss and explore power: who has it, and how, and why. I enjoy demonstrating that penetration is not a male act, or even something only men enjoy. I enjoy discussing sex, and gender and class. I like to help men in positions of power rethink femininity and feminism. My work is intellectually stimulating and challenging, and it uses my brainpower more than any other job I’ve had." -
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Notes"Sex work is not inherently wrong. Sex work is not inherently dangerous. Sex work was, oftentimes and in many ways, something I enjoyed. That said, sex work was a far from a perfect occupation. Prostitution, in particular, was not the job for me. Sex workers do not deserve to be hurt or suffer because they sell sex. But they do"an excerpt from this wonderful piece on sex work from Bitch magazine. (via thestepswetook)
(Source: seat-belt-hands, via janedoe225)
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Notes"Um, I’m going to say some dirty words that I don’t like, and talk about dangerous situations, so I’m gonna go ahead and write “Trigger Warning” here.
I worked as a skimpy for a couple of months some time ago – that means that you pour drinks at the bar wearing lingerie or a costume, and after your shift you can pick up extra tips by being topless for a while, and chatting with the customers. In one week of doing that work, I noted that men would: gladly tell me, “I want to see your tits – and I want to see your pussy”; ask me back to their home, and repeat the question for two hours straight if I kept saying no; ask me to flash my breasts at them, and argue with me with all kinds of logic if I said that I don’t do that – in front of their wives; leer at my breasts; and touch me seductively if I walked on the other side of the bar. Also, upon befriending two men in the town, they each at different times tried to rape me – though thankfully(?), they were the sort to give up when you say, “I said ‘no, I don’t want to have sex with you’ and then you pinned me down and forcibly tried to have sex with me – that’s called ‘rape’ and that’s you trying to ‘rape’ me. You will leave now – goodbye.”
It taught me that men make the assumption that if you work at a “sexy” job, then you’re automatically making yourself sexually available to them – for company, viewing, dirty talk, touching, and sexing. I know that they do this with women anyway, however it’s like in non-”sexy” situations they at least have to come up with some “seduction” or “romancing and dating” scheme, or win a “power struggle”, or speak “nice guy” talk, to gain access; but “sexy” workers, in their minds, have waived those minimal boundaries and are primed and open for access.
I’ve complained to many people about those disgusting attitudes, and many responded, “Well, what did you expect?” So, when society isn’t congratulating men for violating women, it’s giving them a nod of acceptance."qvaken - Comment on: A few lite thoughts on rape and prostitution
(via andythenerd)
so sadly true.
(via workingsex)
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Notes"The claim that sex workers “sell our bodies” is not only logically absurd (I was a prostitute for years, but my body is still right here with me), but totally sexist because it is based on the notion that a woman’s sexuality is her entire worth. The belief behind this expression is that since a woman has nothing of value to offer except her sexuality, if she “sells” that she has “sold herself” and there is nothing left. The fact that anti-sex worker activists use this expression so often says a lot about them."Maggie McNeal Commenting on Chicago Tribune article (via thefumoblu)
(via catladiesandqueens)
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Notes“I feel most unsafe not in the room with a client, but in social environments where people make jokes about dead hookers. I feel unsafe when people tell me they feel sorry for me, because the next step is always that they will try to rescue me or save me in ways that completely deny my experience. I feel unsafe when people assume I have a disease that I brought upon myself and won’t offer me non-judgemental treatment options or kiss or hug me. I feel unsafe when people assume that the violence and danger in my life only comes from clients when my experiences of assault and boundary-crossing have primarily been with intimate partners.
Mostly I feel unsafe when I can feel that people don’t respect me, when they think my work and life is less valuable than other professionals, and this feeling can come from clients, yes, but also from doctors, bank tellers, social service providers, therapists, lovers, friends and family.
I stay safe by remembering I have a right to safety, the respect of others, and by talking openly about the challenges I face in being a sex worker. I think it’s important to note that not all workers can be out like that, and some are outed against their will. I have some risks in being out to most people in my life but the benefits have also been so amazing—so many people share their advice and stories with me. I honour and love the stories I have been given access to, and I am so careful with them. I make videos and offer workshops on sex work topics to other sex workers and to the general public and I am on the board of Maggie’s Toronto, a local sex worker organization. These are things that make me feel strong in who I am, and that help me feel safe by working with others to provide safety and a long-term vision of sex worker rights and self-determination.”
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Sex in Words: Sexual Spectrum: Lusty Day
Really great interview with Lusty Day. I met her at a conference about a year and a half ago, and she is one rad lady.
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Noteslookoutsideyourself: brokenhallelujahacme:
Sex Workers Need HUMAN RIGHTS, Not Legal Wrongs
(via rareandradiantmaiden)
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Notes"The debate as to whether or not becoming a sex worker is an “empowered choice” hinges on the greatest fallacy affecting the sex industry. Contrary to what this debate implies, sex workers don’t make a choice—we make choices, plural—all the time, every minute of every day, just like everybody else. We make a choice to talk to this customer or to that one, to stay or to go, to work tomorrow or to take the day off, to leave the industry or to remain. Like all individuals, we make lots of decisions: what to wear, how to spend our money, what to do on our days off. Some of these decisions empower us, others don’t. Like all individuals, we do not wish to be defined by any one of our choices. Contrary to how we are so often perceived, sex workers don’t define ourselves entirely by our occupation. We don’t sell ourselves, we sell sex. Abolitionists believe prostitution is a crime against poor people whereas individuals who advocate for the decriminalization of sex work often believe that poverty is the social ill, and that efforts by anyone to take away an individual’s source of income are what’s criminal—not that Lloyd or anyone could ever really stop a person from selling sex. Thinking of women as entirely unable to make decisions and ignoring the reality that such decisions may be necessary for survival denies poor women and other sex workers the dignity of their experience."The H-Word: Rachel Lloyd vs. The Fashion Police, Melissa Petro (via melissa)
The full quote of what I reblogged earlier this week.
(via workingsex)
(via workingsex)
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I don’t support prostitution, I understand women wanted sexual freedom, and indeed they got it. But many women have mistaken their freedoms, and distorted man’s mind.
Making a living from having sex just does not appeal to me and never will. You think exposing yourself and giving sexual gratification to people you don’t really love is empowering? Women are becoming puppets, and just objects of sexual gratification, and the media encourages this (Remember people society wants brainless citizens)… just watch all these bullshit sitcoms, and reality shows. Use your fucking brain to make a living, respect your body, remain a mystery and share your sensuality with someone that actually gives a damn about you…
Just because is something you wouldn’t do, doesn’t mean you can’t support it. There is a lot of jobs that pay little and have unplaseant conditions that I would like to avoid, but not everyone have this privilege. And between a work with a lot of hours to earn too little, and a work with more flexible hours and that you can have much more control, some people may prefer the last option and I don’t see why we shouldn’t let them choose. It’s a work like any other, without the recognition. And it’s also a option to people that need to work and study (exactly for the reasons I said: more flexible hours and more control).
Just because there is a social stigma, doesn’t mean it’s wrong. This could acctually be the best option to someone. And they deserve respect and legal protection, just like in any other job. Sure there is a lot of exploitation in this area just like there is in other jobs, but the recognition is the first step in the way to achieve rights and better work conditions than the ones they have today.And if there wasn’t so much demonization, jugment and the desire to control the female sexuality in our society, it would also be a option to men just as much as it is to women.
(Source: 40h4error, via unboundthoughts-deactivated2013)
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marciochx3: kisses from Sasha ♥ :D